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Where is Your Past Hiding?

Have you ever had recurring dreams or thoughts of a previous lover? 

Perhaps your love jam continually comes on the radio or every time you look at the clock it’s their birthday. 

Maybe you keep bumping into them at the farmers market or driving past him after yoga class. 

If this is happening for you, chances are your past is still hiding somewhere in your psyche. 

When we are intimate with someone, they enter all of us. They imprint on our hearts, our yoni’s (vagina) and our psyche. Even when we consciously do the clearing work to evict them from our space, we sometimes find that fragments of them remain hiding and waiting to be discovered. 

This often happens with big lessons from relationships, two days or 20 years, that left a deep imprint. It will come up for us to face a final thread as we are moving on and moving up. 

Even in committed relationships, we are constantly evolving and clearing out the old.

In my case, I am in the midst of a major relationship overhaul and uplevel. The design of the man I am calling in is new and different from any man I have ever been with. So the universe is testing me. And I love nothing more than to pass a test, it gets me so lit!

I get pumped because I know that with every test I pass, I am getting closer to what I desire.  

I’m seeing a lot of the same same but different from men I have dated in the past. Certain traits that resemble each other and a glimmer of uplevel, however still operating from a certain consciousness. 

For example, I tend to attract men that have a love affair with cannabis. If sober sally was a real person, I would be her BFF. I actually have lived an extremely spiritual path since I began traveling and seeking in my early 20s. Imagine, living in ashrams with a shaved head meditating all day getting stoned on breath-work. 

I used to constantly ask myself why I continued to reflect the masculine with this addiction. So in my upleveling process, I am attracting some beautiful men and then they still have this thread, which is now a MAJOR red flag for me and I completely disengage. TEST PASSED!

Recently, I have been dreaming about my 2 exs ago. Every night I wake up wondering why we are still hanging out in the dream world. The dreams have a sweet nature, I’m doing my thing and he’s just in the field. The last dream I remember, I kept finding him in the oddest places. Everytime I awake from one of these dreams, I think to myself, “where are you hiding?”


As in, where in my body am I still holding onto a thread of you. 


I went to Costco shopping tonight. Usually I would just use a friends card or go shopping with my baby daddy. Not tonight, nope. Tonight, I decided I would reactivate my own Costco card as I was babyless and it was night time, ie. no lines. 

So here I am, giving all my info. 


Name: check

Phone number: check

Address: check

Household partner: David…. LIGHTS FLASHING!!!! 

That’s where he was hiding! On my Costco account! 

This may seem silly, and if you are not one that loves symbolism you may not want to play along. However, look at this alignment for a moment. I literally dreamt of this man every night leading up to ‘finding’ him hiding on my Costco account. He was still linked into me in a sense and had I not gone that night and claimed my sovereignty, he still would be. 

So, I deleted David right then and there, in the customer service line at Costco. I also had a sweet witchy laugh with the woman who was helping me. 

I came home and did a yoni steam

I reinstated that I am a sovereign being, not needing a man to support me or a co-dependent relationship to validate my existence. (co-dependency is an addiction, which is most likely my cannabis addiction reflection of the masculine)

The point here is that when we have eyes wide open to the magical weaving of life, we are consistently given clues for our awakening. That eve I decided, “I will not use someone else’s Costco card tonight.” I leaned into myself and it’s amazing what came up to clear. 

Life is profound at showing us signs and signals. 

My favorite way to listen is to slow down and feel into my body. 

I believe the body is the authority and the uterus is the Queen. 

So, my most simple, yet most profound practice is breathing into my belly (uterus) and following the feelings that arise. 

If you still have someone hiding in your space, I invite you to follow my 30day guide to clearing an ex from your womb, heart and psyche here. Then see where they show up. I promise you they will show up somewhere. 

With looking, comes finding.

They will also keep coming up when we haven’t fully severed the tie. If we are still in some lingering, flirty, ambiguous space with them. It’s important to be clear with our words and intentions, to be decisive and also sometimes firm with boundaries. 

A sister of mine was complaining that every time she went out, she would drive past her ex. I asked her if they were in contact. She admitted that he was messaging her frequently and she was playing passive games with him. Giving short answers, yet not saying “I’m not interested in staying connected.”

We did some coaching, she told him she no longer wanted to connect.

And guess what?!

Yup, she never saw him driving again.

AND a man who she really was attracted to and aligned with called her the very next day!

I don’t know about you, but I am ready to full steam ahead. 

Moving on and moving up. 

Choo chooo.


We got this sister. 

The clearing process is never complete, so let’s at least make a game out of it. 


Peek-a-boo loving you,

Alila Rose Grace, Founder of Mahina Menstrual Cup


**If you are looking to take your journey deeper and desire 1:1 support from Alila, book an Alchemy Coaching session today x

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